The importance and issues of communication in marriage date back to Adam and Eve. In Genesis 3: 6-7, it says,
The woman saw that the tree’s fruit was good to eat and pleasing to look at. She also saw that it would make a person wise. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her. And he ate it. Then both of them knew things they had never known before. They realized they were naked. So they sewed together fig leaves and made clothes for themselves.
Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the tree without even communicating with each other if it was right or not. Somehow, they just trusted the serpent and ate what they shouldn’t have.
Adam and Eve are perfect examples of couples that did not have good communication, and because of this, they ended up not following what God commanded them. They ended up sinning.
Having poor communication makes a relationship go from bad to worse. It ultimately ends marriages. But as Christians, communication in marriage, for us, is more vital than merely worldly relationships. It also includes a relationship with the Lord.
Christians need to communicate with their spouse better because it is essential in every Christian marriage, and it is crucial as a follower of Christ. Why is this the case? Let us discuss further why communication is essential for a healthy and joyful marriage.
1. Communication Is Essential to Treat Each Other Better
Matthew 7:12 tells us, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” We should always think about our actions and ask ourselves, “Would we want to be treated that way?” This is exactly the same when communicating in marriage.
It is imperative to think about the betterment of our spouses, so we must communicate in a manner of respect and love, as stated in 1 Peter 2:17, “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.” This is the reason why we must communicate well.
There are times when we do not want to communicate something to our partner because we are afraid, or we do not wish to start a fight. But this is not right. We should speak in a manner that would relay information kindly.
This is how we can treat our spouses better. This is because communication is equivalent to respect, as stated in Luke 6:31, “Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.”
2. Communication Is Essential to Show Forgiveness
Forgiveness can be done through proper communication. When we have done something wrong or our spouse has done something wrong, we should forgive them and also seek forgiveness for our wrongdoing.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:32).
If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent — not to put it too severely (1 Corinthians 2:5).
Correct communication is essential in forgiving someone. When we forgive, we must show through non-verbal and verbal communication that we have forgiven our spouses.
As Peter replies in Acts 2:38, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”
3. Communication Is Vital to Listen to Each Other
Good communication in marriage makes partners listen to each other better. In James 1:19-20, this is stated, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
Listening is one form of good communication because it helps us understand what has been said clearly and with an open heart. “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance—” (Proverbs 1:5)
But we have to realize that we should listen — to really listen — not just to listen so we can respond and talk about what we want to talk about. It is only then that we can communicate better. Listening to respond only creates more trouble because we are not truly listening.
Listening to hear will open our hearts to what has been said and will help us understand every aspect of what has been communicated clearly. As stated in Hebrews 13:16, “And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”
4. Communication Is Important to Keep God at the Heart of Marriage
Lastly, it is important to communicate better so that God may be at the center of the marriage. To do this, couples must always “pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Prayer is the highest form of communication because it is not only in this world but also with God in heaven. It connects us to God, and it brings us closer to Him.
When we pray with our spouse, we also bring our marriage closer to God, as stated in Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” And in 1 John 2:15-17,
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world — the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions — is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.
So, why is communication important in marriage? As Christians, we see communication differently with our non-Christian friends. Communication for us is to God and our partners, which is why we see it as a significant factor in marriage.
Communication helps us treat each spouse better because, through it, we can forgive, listen, and put God at the center of our marriage.
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Glory Dy has been a content creator for more than 10 years. She lives in a quiet suburb with her family and four cats.